14 drunks you can’t miss at uni

University is a wonderful place, where you’ll meet just about every sort of person you could imagine. And as many of them will enjoy the odd bev, you’ll cross paths with almost as many drunk types. So, here’s a few key stereotypes you’ll see at pres, in da club and probably in KFC at the end of the night.

 

1. The Newbie. For whatever reason, when some people come to uni drinking may not be something they’re used to, so hitting it hard in freshers can really mess them up a bit. They might get too drunk to go out, chunder or even just go a little crazier than anyone you’ve ever seen. Don’t worry, they’ll get the hang of it.
2. The giddy drunk. This drunk is just always so happy! They drink, they laugh, they like hugs. You go giddy drunk.
3. The sappy drunk. You know, the one that tells you how much they love you, and may even shed a tear in the process.
4. Girls bathroom empowerees. Now, I can’t speak for what the vibe is like in a guy’s bathroom but a girls one is FAB. Compliments flying everywhere, emotional support, make-up support, anything you need, these girls got you. And you don’t even know them!
5. The angry drunk. This one gets offended VERY easily when drunk, so approach with care. May also like challenges, and puffing their chest out.
6. The horny drunk. Some people just have a one track mind when they’re drunk. Some come across really creepy, others are just terrible flirts, but they’ve all got the same goal.
7. The Snapchat/selfie lover. If you can’t remember what happened on the night, just check out their snap story, because they will have captured all the best bits.
8. The deep drunk. These people turn into a bit of a philosopher. Think slightly sobering subjects, oversharing and maybe even a little stargazing.
9. The bummer. Some people just get down when they’re drunk, and feel the need to complain about everything in their life, to whoever, all night. Good luck if they latch on to you.
10. The heavyweight. You’re stunned they don’t have alcohol poisoning already, but they can just have drink, after drink, and be up for it all again the next night.
11. The lightweight. In some ways similar to the newbie, these drunks don’t need a lot before they are gone. Everyone makes fun of them, but is secretly jealous because they can do nights out SO CHEAPLY.
12. The thrill seeker. You worry about them sometimes, because they really do do some stupid stuff but they’re okay so far. Loves dares.
13. The generous drunk. Some people love to make sure everyone is having as good a time as they are, which is really nice, but slightly awful for them when they check their bank account the next day. Yikes.
14. The mess. These people consistently have a messy night. Everyone has one every now and then, but this person always does. Typical behaviours include a general loss of control over bodily fluids and the tendency to pass out where they fall. Nightmare if you’re the host.

 

 

I’m sure you’ll meet all of these and more over your time here at uni. Maybe you even saw yourself up there! Either way, just get out there, enjoy it and whack out your best dance moves. Oh, and don’t forget to have some water at the end of the night. It will save you.